Fred Kaplan is one of the smarter regular contributors to Slate, and today he gives his readers a challenge: What to do about Iran? As he points out:
If diplomacy is the only rational solution to this problem yet the Iranians just want nukes—in other words, if there is no deal (or at least no deal that the United States would realistically offer) that would compel them to give up their dream—what's the next step?
As he points out, a lot is at stake here - the oil supply to countries that are scared of Iran, the overt threat against Israel's existence, and I suppose, limited American military flexibility given the quagmire occupation situation in Iraq.
This is not a sustainable situation. In other words, something's gotta give. If Iran is hellbent on getting nuclear arms, they will either get them or go to hell for trying. I don't think anyone wants Israel to attack Iran to stop them, but that is probably what Israel will do if someone else doesn't do something else in the meantime.
Here are some options:
- Drop a nuclear bomb on Iran. A big one. But in an uninhabited area, maybe on a military base in a remote area. Then showcase the effects, making it clear that nobody wants a nuclear war, but that if Iran decides to start one, someone else will end it for them, and quickly.
- Boycott Iranian oil. What!? Tell Iran that the west will buy Iranian oil but will not pay Iran for it. The money will go into escrow, be used to pay for actual items shipped to Iran, whatever.
- Start - finally - a federal, ideally international, program to eliminate our dependence on fossil fuels within ten years. Yes, eliminate. After ten years, all the oil, coal, and gas in the ground gets to stay there. Such an announcement will automatically make every other producer in the world crank up their spigots to make up for anything Iran would threaten with.
- Start a harrassment program of Iran. Keep blowing out the electrical supply to Tehran, put non-toxic but obnoxious dye in the drinking water. Open the doors to seekers of political asylum and immigration quotas for Iranian experts, the type Iran needs. Drop leaflets to the population explaining that this is about nothing but the nuclear program. Psychological warfare at a massive scale - sure it'll piss them off, but we can sustain it.
Or we can do all these things. Drop the bomb, boycott the oil, tell the world the oil era is about to end, and launch a psychological warfare effort on the Iranian regime. It's not a great set of options, but it won't kill many people and sure beats a regional nuclear confrontation. And it's not what the Iranian regime would expect.
How about loading a couple of crop-dusting planes with pigs urine and spray this over their nuclear research facilities?
Posted by: Anonymus | January 26, 2006 at 01:55 AM