Heretics' almanac

Mostly "amen" to Ben Stein

From a friendly relative of mine comes a version of this holiday Christmas message from Ben Stein, with a dare:

Pass  it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did.  But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

To most of Ben's points of view, I'd add a hearty "amen." It is deeply disturbing to me that people are so caught up in frivolous popular culture at the expense of the many real and serious issues confronting our world today. It ought to matter a lot more that people are killing each other in Darfur (as an example) than whether Jessica is wearing Nick's ring, and what that could possibly mean.

The $1.7 million answer to the Ultimate Question - not!

Harvard, the American Heart Journal and possibly a bunch of other people spent $1.7 million on a controlled study to find out whether prayer-at-a-distance improves the outcome for heart patients.  The findings were that patients didn't do any better if prayers were made on their behalf, provided they didn't know about the prayers. Patients who were told they were being prayed for actually did worse, and by an unhealthy margin.

It's as if I can hear the atheists snickering, even though the report go to great pains to point out that this study doesn't prove or disprove the existence of God. William Saletan, smart as always, makes a list of explanations for the result.

Things learned from this Yom Kippur

• Fasting and stomach viruses don't go together.  The effects are unpredictable and unpleasant, and the affliction was worse than I've ever experienced.  The virus didn't become apparent until after the fast is over, or I suppose I would have been officially exempted.  As it was, I was one of the stupid stoic guys who held on to the pew during Ne'ilah thinking that it was normal to be this dizzy.
• Heated political debate at the break-fast: from which I draw the following conclusion: arguments break out among Norwegians when they've had too much to drink.  Arguments break out among Jews when they've had too little to eat. 
• After you've repeated Ashamnu and the Al Chet prayers often enough, it does tend to have the intended effect.  You don't feel much worthy.  The rabbi told a story attributed to a Chasidic rabbi (don't ask me whom) in which he said he came to heaven and was asked why he didn't accomplish more; the rabbi said he wasn't smart enough, didn't have enough money, etc., and then the question was: well, then, why were you so arrogant? 
• My Hebrew is getting better, which kind of surprises me.

G'mar Chatima Tovah, 5766

Maybe there is a distinction in all religions between those who believe they can discern a sense of justice from natural disasters, and even man-made disasters.  It seems that every time there's an earthquake, tsunami, hurricane, or what-have-you, television gives airtime to self-described pious individuals who can list the sins that brought the disaster to them.

I can hardly think of anything more offensive, and, quite frankly, blasphemous. 

The most recent earthquake (does it have a name yet?) to hit areas around Islamabad and Kashmir highlights little else than the plight of the poor in such situations, just as it did with Katrina in the U.S.  The villagers, children, and other people who happened to be in the wrong place at the right time probably include some good and some bad people, but I reject the idea that they were singled out for some kind of punishment.

Blasphemy!

Daniel Gordis writes that the Sephardic Chief Rabbi believes that the earthquake and tsunami resulted from divine anger at the evil ways of, well, I guess the people that were killed, injured homeless, parentless, or childless by the disaster.

With all due respect, I think this is blasphemy - or at least, there should be a serious discussion about whether it is.  So many terrible things happen all the time to people who have done nothing to deserve it, and to think that God will mete out this kind of non-specific, broad, indiscriminate punishment is, well, offensive to say the least. 

I've started to believe that the difference between the pious and the fundamentalists is that the pious mostly have questions, and the fundamentalists mostly have answers.  Asking God "why" is a tradition that goes (at least) as far back as Job, and I'm not sure we're any closer to an answer.  Rabbis and other enlightened souls saw lots of meaningless suffering, and it's rare you'll find any of them speculating too loud about the moral reasons behind it. 

A Great Miracle Happened There/Here

Color me Zionist, but I'm struck every year by the fact that dreidels home in Israel are different from dreidels here in the diaspora (galut).  Dreidels you buy in the US will have the four characters: nun(נ), gimel (ג), hei (ה), and shin (ש), but those in Israel will have the four characters nun(נ), gimel (ג), hei (ה), and, and pe (פ).  That's because in the diaspora, the four letters stand for "nes gadol hayah sham" - "a great miracle/sign happened there," but in Israel the letters stand for "nes gadol haya po" - "a great miracle happened here."

Also, let me point out that the particular miracle/sign in question doesn't rate very high on the spectacularism scale.  The lamps burned much longer than possible, and nobody could explain why.  No parting seas, no water from a rock, no array of plagues, not even a victorious war against all odds.  Yes, the Maccabees were victorious against overwhelming odds at the time, but we really emphasize the miracle of the lights to a greater extent.

Add to that Beit Hillel's view that we increase in matters of holiness, and Chanukkah - though a minor holiday in the Hebrew calendar - becomes something we observe in the spirit of humble optimism.  We light the candles after dark and put them in a public spot, announcing to the world that here lives a Jewish family.  If we follow the Ashkenazi tradition, we'll even announce how many family members we have.  In other times, this would be asking for trouble, but most places in the world it's not a concern.

Chanukkah Sameach!

Promoting the good davar

The New York Times reports that JDate is being overrun by non-Jews who want to marry Jews, for various reasons.  Seems to me that JDate should also put up a site explaining what it means to be Jewish - sort of, but not entirely, proselytizing.

G'mar Chatima Tovah

In the Kol Nidrei (“all promises”) services – which are really the Ma’ariv (evening) services for Yom Kippur, it is the Kol Nidrei part that is the most moving for most of us.

But it is another part that really gets me every time – when a rabbinical court is convened, with the court decreeing that it is acceptable to pray among sinners.

"In the courts above, and the courts on earth, we decree that it is permissible to pray with sinners."

To me, this is the essence of Yamim Noraim (days of awe) and perhaps Judaism itself. At that moment, we invoke our right to make difficult moral decisions by issuing a decree, even as we concede that we all fall way short of the standards we set for ourselves.

It encapsulates the Jewish response to the human condition – we may not be perfect, we may only vaguely understand the purpose of our existence, but we set for ourselves sacred aspirations. We actualize these aspirations to the best of meager abilities in our daily actions and are constantly humbled in these efforts.

Still, we have rights. We have the right to convene a court of three observant, knowledgeable people and make rulings based on our limited understanding. And none could be more profound than the decision that we are allowed to offer the service of prayer, even as that service must seem like blasphemy in light of our actual sinful conduct.

It is chutzpah of the highest order, but it brings me to tears every time.

Madonna in Israel

Madonna, aka Esther, is in Israel. (Don't get me started on the irony of someone named Madonna taking the name Esther.)

I happen to like Madonna. I think she's a good performer and a great example of someone who made the best of her abilities. Even if I find some of her material objectionable, I have to admire her courage for putting it out there, so to speak. So I have no axe to grind with her. In fact I think she smiled at me once during a movie shoot - on location for "Who's that Girl" on 105th Street between Riverside and West End Avenue. Remember, Esther?

But she's not the ideal exponent of Kabbalah. (And to be fair, she may not intend to be).

Kabbalah is not flamboyant - quite the opposite. You'd have a hard time finding serious practitioners of Kabbalah at all, and forget getting them to talk about it. All the rabbis place observance above mysticism, and they even warn of the dangers of Kabbalah for the unprepared. Chabad and birthright may have mass excursions to the Kotel; kabbalists go there in groups of 3-4, make as little out of themselves as possible, and go home.

I wish other, more mainstream aspects of Judaism got more attention. The imperative of tzedakah; mourning practices; the aesthetics of kashrut; the essence of Yamin Noraim; the profound nature of Shabbat; etc. If Madonna/Esther has picked up kashrut, lights candles for Shabbat, or even practices family purity - that would be something to make publicity about.

L'Shana Tovah!

In a few days, it'll be 5765 years since the universe was created - at least according to Jewish tradition. Some scientists may claim that this estimate is off by non-trivial orders of magnitude, and I'd be inclined to agree. But since the right number is well outside of our short life spans, one day is as good as any other to mark the singularity that got it all started.

In the spirit of Yamin Noraim ("Days of Awe," more descriptive than "High Holidays," don't you think?), I'd like to offer my readers my apologies if I unwittingly or wittingly hurt, offended, or otherwise harmed them in the past year. And if anyone believes you have done anything to hurt or harm me, please be assured that you should be held guiltless on my account.